Bear With Me…

In the midst of saying goodnight to one of my kids this week, I reminded him that parents are imperfect people, too, just like him, just like his brothers, his friends, etc. To which he replied, with a wide grin, “Oh, I know!”

Thanks, dude. But in all seriousness, I smiled back at him and laughed because I know this, he knows this, and we weren’t talking about me anyway, so it was all good!  

After talking to my son, though, I started reflecting back through the events of my day, and I realized sanctification was a recurring theme, a topic that was really at the heart of multiple conversations and situations I had encountered. Although I wasn’t intentionally trying to talk about it, it just kept coming up. And since I’ve been musing over the subject for the past few days now, I figured I’d talk about it here.

Let me back up a bit and begin with what really got the ball rolling, so to speak, of me thinking about sanctification this week. In an interview I did about my upcoming book, I was essentially asked, “How does a Christian become bulimic? An adulteress?”

Now, the way the question was posed was not condemning at all; it was not offensive to me in any way. It’s a good question. And it stems from how, in our culture, we love and gravitate to these stories of non-believers being redeemed, right? We love to hear about how the drug addict got clean or the alcoholic got sober, accepted Christ, turned their life around, and is now working in ministry. And absolutely, these are amazing, inspiring stories, and God’s glory shines through them. They should be shared and celebrated! However, we tend to pause, maybe even cringe, at the Christian who knows Jesus, loves Jesus, and yet finds themselves struggling with alcohol or porn or excessive gambling or an eating disorder – you name it – and God is still writing their redemption story. Maybe you cringe at my story. That’s okay. I get it.

Here’s my answer to that question, though, and it’s so simple: Lies. Satan lies to all of us, Christian or not, regardless of who we are, where we come from, or how long we’ve known Jesus as our Lord and Savior. As believers, we have the privilege of using the Word of God as our weapon, our sword (Ephesians 6:17), against the enemy’s lies, but we are not automatically immune to their deception. Anyone, and everyone, is capable of believing them.

Jesus describes Satan as the “father of lies” (John 8:44) and the “prince of this world” (John 14:30) with three goals: steal, kill, and destroy (John 10:10). He doesn’t stop lying to us just because we put our faith in Christ. While the devil cannot change the eternal destination of our souls once we believe in Jesus (Ephesians 1:13-14), he will not miss a beat in still coming after us. In Matthew 4, he didn’t even hesitate lying to Jesus, for crying out loud! The enemy wants to steal, kill, and destroy all the abundant life Jesus has so graciously given us here on this earth. And you can be certain he wants to distract you from your relationship with Jesus and eliminate your effectiveness in Christ’s Kingdom. He doesn’t want you sharing the Gospel with others, loving and serving others, encouraging and edifying others. So, he lies.

In the intro of my book, Desert Vineyards, I drop you right into the moment I confessed to JP the affair I had with his best friend. That moment led me to months in a barren, arduous desert with no guarantees that my marriage would survive, and I write:

So how exactly did I end up in such a desert? How does this happen? How does a girl like me – someone who’s known Jesus since she was little, someone whose family and friends would describe as having integrity, respect, and loyalty – do what no one ever thought she’d do? How could I betray the most sacred and beloved relationship in my life by cheating on my husband?

Believing lies. That’s how I got there. Compromise. Complacency. Naivety. Pride. Fear. All wrapped up into a complex web of endless lies and deception that I’d let my heart believe.     

This is the entire premise of my book. I tell my story through the lens of the lies I’ve believed and the Truth – Jesus – who puts all of the devil’s lies to shame. But make no mistake, I’ve known Jesus all along. I’ve believed in Jesus since I was a little girl. And I cannot recall a single memory of when I did not know who God was or that He loved me. And yet, I fell for the worst of lies.

Because the thing is, Christianity is not a one-and-done moment. It’s not about being perfect or having our lives all figured out. It’s not about checking off a list of religious boxes. If it was, we wouldn’t need Jesus, right? To be a Christian, to live that faith, is to have an ongoing personal relationship with Jesus. A relationship we prioritize over all other relationships. A relationship we invest our energy, time, money, talents, and gifts into. A relationship we desire and seek to grow deeper in. Every. Single. Day.

Enter sanctification.

Sanctification is a big word, but not a complicated one. Surely, we can make it complicated. But it doesn’t have to be. Hebrews 10:14 says, “For by one sacrifice he has made perfect forever those who are being made holy.” Yes, we are completely forgiven by Jesus’ sacrifice on the cross, and He has made us perfect forever. At the same time, we are obviously still sinners and so, this truth also stands: He is still making us holy. Sanctification is simply that process. It is the process of our growth in Christ. It is the Word of God at work within us (1 Thessalonians 2:13). It is Jesus changing us and refining us and making us more like Him (Ephesians 1:4). And He is more than capable of taking all our good and bad choices, all our struggles and mistakes, all our circumstances and trials, all our emotions and feelings, and using them to teach us, to draw us nearer to Himself. And the glorious beauty, I think, of sanctification is that my only role in it is abiding in Jesus. That’s it. I cannot make myself holy. I cannot cleanse myself from sin. I cannot enter God’s presence alone. I need Jesus. We all need Jesus! Jesus is the only One who sanctifies us.

Following my confession to JP, we separated, and I lived in my parent’s basement for several months. In their downstairs living room, there was a picture of a simply drawn, but cute, little teddy bear with these words next to it: “Bear with me. God’s not finished with me yet.” I saw that framed décor every day, every time I stepped out of my room. And that truth comforted me. Despite all my wretched sin and subsequent bleak situation, I knew God was still at work within me. I was still His.

Listen, we were created to worship our Creator with our lives and, in doing so, to become more and more like Him. But let’s face it, we are horrible at it. On our own and in our flesh, we cannot acquire a heart like His. Only Jesus can create within us a clean and pure heart that resembles His own. And that is precisely why I wrote a book to tell my story: to encourage you to replace the enemy’s lies with Truth, to stand on the Word of God and walk with Jesus. We will still hear the enemy’s lies; I do. We will still need God’s redemption at the end of every day; I do. Because this I know for sure: if it’s not one thing, it’s another. Another struggle, another trial, another stressful situation, another temptation, another loss, another lesson to be learned. And, friend, I need Jesus for ALL of it. So do you.   

As Christians, we are definitely called to a higher standard, and we do not, we should not, sin just because we are forgiven by God’s abounding grace. But my hope, my prayer, is not that others would see you or me and have an expectation that we don’t ever fall for Satan’s lies or be in shock when we do. Rather, that they would see our lives, our humility and repentance, and God’s glory shining through our ongoing sanctification and that they would be moved, challenged, and encouraged by this thought: Dang, they are not perfect, but they sure love Jesus!